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Saturday, 8 November 2008

The Schizophrenic


Darkness has set in.
And the mind lies submerged…
Budge- it cannot;
Any thought of revival is swiftly purg’d!

There is an alluring beauty-
In this darkness, that I find.
The enigmatic being flashes…
I reassure myself- no games played by the mind.

I dwell in a pall of gloom;
Where there is chaos unassumed!
I need… I must have… Energy…
Lest from within, I am consumed.

Alas, my faculty ebbs away.
I try staying empowered, all in vain-
Looming large is the darkness from within…
I grow numb; I feel no pain.

Finally, the maelstrom recedes.
Even in murky darkness, I see faint light.
Is it infernal, or is it divine?
I shall know when the soul, with wings, takes flight.

56 comments:

Priya said...

Inside the shell even when its dark u still breathe and think only of seeing the light.

clover said...

the light you'll see when you decide to stop being a sisi doing drugs. you are totally succumbed in the dark and only you can take yourself out.

STOP thinking the whole world is sick just bcs you live in sickness and everything around you is sick.

the last thing i'm is crazy.

i'm not your best buddy either, i'm perhaps the light part of you, but you won't reach the light by me, you'll do it by you own WILL.

now i don't know if this is destiny or not, all i know is that i have grown to really detest you. but my instinct comes back.

go figure

i'm dying for an exit

clover said...

i'm hoping to meet my light, actually i'm DREAMING

all you have given me is total darkness

Priya Joyce said...

every light is divine...light represents...the returned happiness cheerfulness in one's life.

It can't be infernal or hateful or hellish..

beautiful expressive lines.

Kartz said...

@Priya
That's hope... Thanks for the read. :)

Gauri Mathur said...

Such a short poem..i wanted to read more..beautifully written:):)

Kartz said...

@Clover
Welcome to Contorted Reality. Thanks for stopping by to leave your thoughts.

"STOP thinking..."
- Well, you know who a schizophrenic is, right? (Else you wouldn't have bothered scribbling here!) Your telling them to stop doing this/that is like looking up to the sky for a windfall!

"i'm not your best buddy either..."
- Ummm... Are you a 'buddy' in the first place; leave alone 'best'.

"i have grown to really detest you."
- Just do us all a favour and CONTINUE detesting me. :P

"go figure"
- Yeah, right... Go, get a life!

"i'm dying for an exit"
- Oh please do watch your step. ;)

"actually i'm DREAMING"
- How lovely... :P

"all you have given me is total darkness"
- I haven't given you anything... That's what you have plainly assumed. Like all the deluded twits 've come across! :D

---
Peace, and have a nice day.

Kartz said...

@PJ

Thanks young friend... And coming to what you said- about light. Try looking it at it through the eyes of a schizophrenic. You'll prolly understand why I framed it in tht way... :)

Peace.

Kartz said...

@Gauri
Thanks...

Priya Joyce said...

hmmmm..yeah I tried to give it a generalization ..It didn't work ..hmmm ye may be it might sound or look hellish wen a schizophrenic looks at it.

Kartz said...

;) Heh heh heh... No issues dear.

Richa said...

i juz lovd it :)

Shruti said...

beautiful yet real..
reminded me of my best friend..

Ayushi said...

I loved loved and absolutely loved it
I admire the way in which you put words into such a form!...beauty...
Nah...thats hwo I feel sometimes...at night..alone...the silence around feels like its punding in mah head...and i seem to hear....no no....ppl will think i am mad!

Kartz said...

@Richa
:) Glad it was to ur liking..!

Kartz said...

@Shruti
Thanks for the read... Din't know your best friend suffered from this.

Peace.

Kartz said...

@A-u-c
U? Mad? Think? :D

WarmSunshine said...

Hi Kartz

I must say, wonderful the way you toy with words :)
Such an exquisite choice of words as always dear! Light... the symbol of hope, of God, of a brighter new day!

Keep rocking dude! :P

Lena said...

wonderful poetry here... i believe we all have the light within and in the darkest days it always will bring us out

verbivore said...

This is something i can relate to! would comment aftr a deeper read..
for now
you have been tagged
http://verbivorehere.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/quirky-me/

verbivore said...

You are so rich in your diction that Im not sure whether I admire or envy you..
There is an alluring beauty-
In this darkness, that I find.
- somethng that crosses my mind!
A realistic painting with the rich hues of words!

Kartz said...

@Mehreen
Thanks a lot... :) You are too kind.

Kartz said...

@Lena
Gratias...

Kartz said...

@Verbivore
I have always believed that there is nothing wrong in envying something about others which will make one a better individual. That envy comes out of [silent] admiration. And with sustained effort, they become a part of the person. I still envy my brothers calm demeanor... This hot-head could very well do with some of it. ;)

Peace. And thank you for the kind words.

---
PS: Tag... Errr... Will need some time! I don't really do tags... May be once in a bluish-green sun! ;)

Ayushi said...

kar(tick),
What is in a name?, Ayushi by any other name would be as chweet! :D ;)

Praveen said...

really great lines..
I can see the feeling dripping from the lines..

Ani said...

hehe u have got the way with words must say.. hehe..

all i can say there is hope at the end of the day.. like how u know there is light at the end of the tunnel.. ( well unless its in the night then its pitch black :P )but then that hope is what keeps thing going..

Heart'n'Soul said...

very well written... very impressive... n so impactful tht i really don know wt to say :)

really impressed!!!

Kartz said...

@A-u-c
:P Oh really..?

Kartz said...

@Praveen

Thanks bro'... :)

Kartz said...

@Ani
Muchas gracias señorita...

Kartz said...

@heart'n'soul
:) Gee... Thanks buddy...

Sneha said...

Beautiful words that depict the process of liberation and deliverance
of the soul.
keep writing.
have a nice day.:)

Kartz said...

@Sneha
Thanks; you too! Have a great weekend.

mona said...

utterly beautiful n touching... thoughts woven so beautifully into words... !!

" I dwell in.... I am consumed"... simply loved this stanza...

great job there!! cheers!!!

CяŷştąŁ said...

Awesome !
This was really well woven!:)
Good work..

preeti said...

beautiful. loved the second and thrid stanzas. wanted more of the poem. cheers buddy :)

Kartz said...

@mona
Welcome to Contorted Reality, and thank your for the kind words.

Peace.

Kartz said...

@Crystal
Muchas gracias...

Kartz said...

@Preeti
;) Hmmm... Now how do I extend this? Thanks..!

Scribbler said...

Impressive work.

keep it rollin ;)

Kartz said...

@Scribbler

Thanks; and welcome to Contorted Reality. Do visit again.

Peace.

rampantheart said...

I liked the metaphor you created with the word "darkness". Darkness engulfs when a person actually thinks. I personally don't let my thoughts think for me. Whenever i feel blue or say, when darkness has engulfed my mind, i make sure i distract it awhile. But i don't escapr from the condition or the corcumstance that created the darkness. In fact , no one should. Keeping oneself distracted from anything is fine as long as you don't fall a victim to being distracted all the time when things need to be thought. When distractions rule a person's life, he/she can't make decisions. Their thought process (mind) will! hmmm, very few posts like this evoke such interest in me! I am uber glad your words do that to me!

This has actually given me a new idea! *Eureka*

Lena said...

hi .. regarding non text selecting on my page

in your blog template replace < body > with < body style='user-select: none; -khtml-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: none;' >

of course with no spaces

It will prevent people from selecting text on your pages, claims to work in mozilla only but works for me in IE and chrome too, maybe in opera too, i checked but dont remember result.

In addition to that you might search for some no right click script but since the browsers let you disable java scripts on the pages it is not so good..

though even then you are not safe from being plagiarised.. one can always find ways

anyways, i just made it more complicated for those who copy.

Hope it was helpful.

Kartz said...

@Ranjani

"When distractions rule a person's life, he/she can't make decisions."
- very true.

Thanks for the read. Hope all is well.

Peace.

Kartz said...

@ Lena

Thank you so much! :)

jayu said...

Brilliant,Kartz.

Kartz said...

Gratias :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Awesome verse!

I liked the way it changed from the dark to bright light :)

Kartz said...

:) Thanks! Glad you liked it...

Sneha said...

wow.. thats an awesome blog you have here ..

"I shall know when the soul, with wings, takes flight"
i loved that line

*deviating from the metaphors:
No offence, but I dont understand the concept of spiritual flight... I think its just me who means physically flying when I say i want to fly :P

Kartz said...

Thanks... And welcome to Contorted Reality. Hope to see you again soon.

---
None taken. Well, in simple words - I meant when the ghost is given up, I will know what sort of light it is.

preeti said...

@clover
please dont hover here henceforth. I dont want you dirtying this place, never, so FUCK OFF :):)

Kartz said...

;) Clover wouldn't dare hover!

Anonymous said...

The poem is beautiful. I am trying to find others that have "seen the light" and can relate to this. I recently suffered a "psychosis" (no history of mental illness) and thought I was dying. It was like a NDE but there was also a sinister presence. Beautiful and alarming. Is this like your experiences that you write about? Everyone tells me I am just nuts now also. Guess God only gives us what we can handle.

Kartz said...

@Anonymous
Welcome to Contorted Reality. I appreciate your time to stop by and leave a note.

Well, glad you can relate to this. And all I can say is... I wrote this when I was thinking about how it is, when people view someone as a demented soul. How it is... To actually be affected by schizophrenia. I try my best, to empathize,,, To be in another person's shoes. And if you can relate to this, then the purpose of writing has been fulfilled.

Thank you for the read.

Take care. Peace.

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