Pillows besmirched in sanguinary brown,
His countenance - pallid and writh’d.
At the ceiling, he cast that morbid frown;
A sight that beheld fright…
He had starved, there was no work,
and Women were a part no longer.
Not a man without the odd quirk,
His macabrous will had grown stronger…
Answers, he searched low and high,
‘Til his eyes met the blade.
The grim future was but nigh;
A steely resolve had been made.
Laced, was he, in sorrow and shame,
The infernal angst! He sobbed;
Cursing his Fate and its game…
“Damn! You had me robbed!”
The manic rage, within him grew…
As he smoked his last hash.
In a fit, the blade, he drew…
And slash’d his neck in a flash!
Those pillows besmirched in sanguinary brown,
That countenance – bloodless and pale.
At the ceiling, was cast a wraith-like frown.
… I lived to narrate that gory tale…---
You have but one life… Live each day to the fullest. As it is, every passing day takes you closer to your grave. Suicide is the cowards’ way out.
80 comments:
Took me some time to realise the real situation, but after I did, I was awestruck with the perfection you have made this...one of your best works...i think...keep it up
You do ave some wonderful art there...
I loved your choice of words! :)
Indeed,suicide is not the way out for life's conundrums,but as it is said,only the wearer can know where the shoe pinches.Not that I support this deed,but there are people who are driven to it because they had none to save nor guide nor give a single word of comfort at the right time.
Really strong impact .. and the message comes across reallyy quite strongly..
I do agree it is the cowards way... and so many ppl try to take the easy way out..
Well do check out my blog.. something waiting for you :)
very strong poem and greatly written as usual.
and i agree that suicide is no way out and if someone does, then it is a weakness only, though i know those who would disagree with this point of view
To tell you the truth, it took me four reads to get the complete meaning, but after I did....Oh Boy!
Beautiful words there. Just apt. That pain comes through well, and somewhere you do feel sorry for that person.
But yes, suicide is the coward's way out, just ending your life to solve a problem makes no sense. Problems can be solved, however grave they are. It just requires that little effort to talk...to make that start...
Spellbound with your words....beautiful. :)
Omg!
I'm surprised by the candidness and freshness of this poem..
Suicide is indeed coward way..people committing it don't even realize that they put a full stop to their own life..but the life of others is put to a comma..which is never going to be completed!
And as Sameera said..I love your choice of words!
i would suicide is an irony of emotions. to commit suicide does take courage, it is not easy to see death in your eyes and walk towards it willingly. having said that, i also do agree that it is a coward's' choice to run away from life.
well written poem.. esp the last stanza.
##Ayushi
Hmmm... Dunno if it is my best. Glad you feel so. :) Gracias!
##Sameera
Yeah... They are driven to the limit where they think the only way out is push that self-destruct button and wait for the heart to stop beating.
Glad you liked it. :)
##Ani
As long as people think there is an "easy" way, such things will happen. Nothing in life comes easy. Even death doesn't... Does it?
And I love surprises! :) Thanks! :)
##Lena
It is indeed weakness... A weakness because they fall prey to this cowardice.
Chuck the rest. I agree with what you said. :)
##Tara
Yes... You do feel sorry for him. But that's life, right? Not many have it in them to sit and give it a thought. The feeling of escaping reality grips them... It is this disillusionment which leads them to take such a drastic step.
Thanks for the kind words. :)
##Aayushi
Point! As I mentioned a wee bit earlier. This psycho-drive... The self-destruct motive... Hard to imagine. They fail to see light. Each life is so precious.
Gracias... :)
##Divya
Ah... A nice way of looking at it. That's precisely what I pointed out when I mentioned his sobbing and then flying into manic rage.
Danke! :)
Hey Kartz. You know I was holding myself from reading this post of yours, I'll be very honest. Coz this word "suicide" always reminds me of my friend.Anyways, its not about me..
its about you
So the poem took me in an all together different world.
It hurts to see people kill themselves this way!!
Salutes to you..
And Cheers to Life
u know i am the fan =)
LOVELY :D
A strong message that comes out brilliantly ... The ending was a scary one...
True... suicide is only for the weak...
Nice one Kartz :)
a poem that hits hard right till the last word... put into words excellently, it has just the right impact..
you conveyed a very important message through your poem... hope the misleaded and misguided draw an inspiration from it...
but i still wonder many a times what could possibly lead a person to take his or her own life... suicide is definitely a complicated act....
nonetheless an out-of-the-box poem... enjoyed every bit... cheers!!!
Hey Kartz!!
I had to open the dictionary for this one!!....and I loved it...the words...umm...not someone who uses in common language...but that is what makes your uniqueness!!
Loved the poem....and i fully agree that suicides are for cowards!!!
*Peace* :P :P :P :P
nicely done
runnin away is never an option... but sumtimes its just too much to handle... i don have an opinion on this subject per say but ur words were surely amazingly well knitted :)
##Shruti
That's ok. I quite understand. And coming to think of it, yes - I think I do remember you mentioning your deceased friend [in one of your older posts].
Indeed... It is appalling to see people end their lives thus.
Thanks for the read.
Peace.
##WarmSunshine
Yeah... I tried to give it that gruesome feel. Dunno how *well* it came off. ;)
Merci beaucoup.
##Mona
Yes - complicated is right. Not just for the victim, but for his kin too. Let's hope it does reach out to some...
Thank you for the kind words. Glad you liked it.
##Akshat
Ah... Thumbing through a dictionary - I see it as a revelation. It is quite an experience if you ask me. :)
And yeah, guess that does make my writing unique. It's for the masses to say though.
Thank you for the read.
Peace.
##Richa
Your fanship is much obliged. It sure is an inspiration.
:)
##Heart'n'Soul
Hmmm... How much is *too much*? Just that, I feel, it is not right to turn your back on your own life like this. Would love to hear opinion some time. Feel free to voice out. :)
Gratias.
hey Kartz, thanks for visiting my blog :)
u hv got a popular blog too dude...
Wud u like me to add in ur reader list ?
and i see the award i originated here :P
I am awestruck by this one Kartz.. I am not reading much of poems these days.. but this one is absoultely perfect..
kudos to you!!
but I never was a supporter of sucide and I hate people who are taking that decision.
I agree with some of the folks who have already talked about the fact that people who resort to such measures do so becos of the lack of guidance in their lives... The victims of depression are too weak to think abt the 'right' or 'wrong'.. They just cant see Hope!!! and Its our responsibility as their loved one to let them know that there is Hope... Cos Hope is the greatest Healer of Life!!!!
Anyways, not digressing further... the poem was good... the flow was lucid but I feel You could have explored a bit further... Somehow, this is not ur best for me :) :)
thanks for following my blog :)
tooo good man..
but thr are lotta people who doesn't realise the message contained in this and most of them won't live to tell the tale.
BTW beware, there've been cases were songs against suicide were accused as pro suicide and even taken to court:D
##kanaguonline
I won't say I "hate" such people. And well... I don't feel overtly sorry for them either. It's just bewildering to think about how one would want to simply terminate their existence.
Thank you for the read...
##Sam
Thank you for the prompt visit. Your readership is much obliged.
##Diva
Yeah... That's true.
I agree. I could have gone a bit further. Dunno; just felt like ending the poem after fourth stanza... And yeah, my best is yet to come. Sure is. :)
Thanks...
##Divya
The pleasure is mine madamoiselle.
##Praveen
Thanks bro'.
Indeed, cadavers render zilch testimony. Thanks for the warning though; let's see who ends up suing me for it. ;)
very beautifully written!
**Suicide is the cowards’ way out
aww...but I wudnt say that. Only cos, as Sameera pointed out, only that person wud know his/her own pain. And we shall never judge.
Keshi.
so powerful..and painful ..I had my eyebrows tight together as i read it..True suicide just doesnt deprave one person..but others who are left behind. It touched my heart!
brrrr...yu scared me with tht!
i am a zero at poetry and cant quite do justice tu yur work if i comment at all...
but the words...are powerful!
The bottomline is superb!!!! ANd U knw i'm ur poem's fan... So usual Words- NICE FANTASTIC... I'm tired off it man!!! :)
##Keshi
I wouldn't say it is about judging. Just that... To me, people who cannot face the real world are hypocrites. It may seem 'judgemental'; but give it a thought. Why do people hide from reality?
Why terminate life when you can "live"!? It's selfishness too... You may want to end 'your' misery, but there are people attached to the same 'you'. (Ummm... Generalizing. Of course, I don't mean you, Keshi! :D ) Won't that misery get transferred to your kin..?
That was my line of thought...
Thanks.
Peace. Be well.
##verbivorehere
Indeed...
Thanks for the read ma'am! :)
##alphabetworld
Welcome back! :)
Well, poetry is my thing. :( But you can read up some of my prose! :) You still have time... ;)
Peace.
##Karthik
Thanks for the read dude. Appreciated.
I u'stand everything u said Kartz but no one can be in another shoes 100%. we r all made different and we all handle life's situations differently. wuts a small step for you may look like a mountain for someone else.
And when someone is going thru a tough time, everything else including family n friends dun make sense like it does for a person with a clear mind. Its so easy to be outside the picture and talk sense. but when ur inside the picture the shades may look very different.
Im saying this cos I know alot abt Depression and I hv lost a very close friend to Suicide. After that I learnt alot abt it, how the brain the mind works and how certain chemicals make ppl react in certain ways. Suicide is not a choice they make...its the result of a chemical reaction in the brain at the time they r suffering from Depression.
And the least we cud do is to be there for them, not label them as cowards etc. I feel really sad when ppl do that. Thats all. :)
Keshi.
##Keshi
Sorry to hear about your friend. Appalling to learn something like that...
Guess you do have a point. And having lost someone close... Yeah, I did read a long time back - how chemical reactions contribute to it. That's why I wrote one line there "... smoked his last hash..." to indicate further reaction.
In fact, I wrote one on Schizophrenia not too long ago. Do read it when you have the time.
Frankly, I wrote it in a fit of rage myself. Not hard to guess that. :)
Thanks for the prompt response.
Peace. Be well.
hey Kartz its ok. Everyone has their opinion abt it and I respect that :) I was only telling u how I see it now. I used to be like u...got angry abt it etc. But not anymore.
TC
Keshi.
Picturesque.. and well, really one that gets under the skin.
Very true of course, that suicide is never the answer, though of course whether there is cowardice in it is another matter altogether. Sometimes it may not be, given the circumstance.
However it must be said that there are ever so many ways to confront any situation, and the no option one should always be taking one's own life :)
Very pondering post! And great poetry with it :)
i attempted to write one on suicide and it left me unsatisfied..glad i found yours..
good lord, your vocab is like the ultimate ok i tend to exaggerate but i dont like the phrase pretty good
read some of your older stuff..you hve pretty good stuff out here :)
I liked the underlying element of the poem.You've used powerful words throughout the poem. Great work!
Now, I have a few questions!
#1. Is there a word called "macabrous"? Guess it's a spelling mistake. Also, if you had "macabre" in mind, it doesn't form a sentence.Isn't "macabre" an adjective? Please do something about it!
#2. In the fifth stanza, the third line may be grammatically correct, but it doesn't sound euphonious.( Considering the next line.Read the lines slowly.You'll notice) Please change it like "In a fit, he drew the blade blah blah..
Also try to add a different phrase in the next line. Two "In a" phrases make the stanza less appealing. Alliterations are fine when they are used with letters:)
#3. Why don't you start and end the poem with these words?
"Besmirched were the pillows"? because you need to use "were" before besmirched to make the sentence complete!
I trust you can understand what I am trying to say! I had an awesome time reading the poem again and again to comment on it sincerely!:)
Keep writing! I am really enjoying the way you write!
hey Kartz...you alright??
Haven't read something from you for a while now!!
hey 2 things k one i need ur email id..wanna invite for ma new blog
second is i hav changed ma blog id to
allabtpj.blogspot.com
for experiences blog
tc will be bakk after exams
People have already praised you so much,with such warm words,i have no words left apart frm them.
M Speechless yet again.
Too Good man!!:)
:)
Cheers!!
take care.
God Bless !
I really dunno if blgger is eatimg up my comments..whr did it go??
Okay!..Blind me..it is here,indeed..
I was asking that when are you going to updated?
Hey Kartz...dude...why aren't you replying to any comments???...haven't seen you for a while now!!!!
Something wrong?!?!?!?
i prefer abstract than opinionated statements..darkness is very much appreciated by me and confusion is the state of my mind..coupled with blissful oblivion you can just guess what kinda person im..but from darkness i grow and i guess i have to be lost to be found.
Addressing a debated topic here..suicide can and cannot be cowardice..it depends on the circumstances..how can someone be strong without tasting it? how can meaning be added to a meaningless life when you dont know what the meaning is?
excellent one! (might i say- as usual!?!) :)
##Keshi
:)
##Usha ma'am
Indeed. Man can be such a victim of circumstances!
Thanks for the read! :)
##Nivedita
Thank you for the kind words. Welcome to Contorted Reality.
Your readership is much obliged.
Peace.
##rampantheart
1.) I well know that 'macabre' is an adjective. And 'macabrous' is *ahem* my creation - a la Edward Lear (Remember his word 'runcible' in "Owl and the Pussycat"?) Yes, I have adjectivized an adjective. Coming to think of it, you are the ONLY person who has asked me about it. :)
2.) Indeed, it is not euphonious... I noticed that too. (Are you clairvoyant? ;) ) Nothing that I thought of (at that moment) seemed to fit therein. The same goes for the "in a" in the last line of that stanza. Not that I was lazy to search for something else. Just that... Well, kya bataun... Nothing else struck me?
3.) Hmmm... That did not strike me. As you would have noticed from the recital - the observer, on seeing what has happened, throws light on the events that led to the suicide. So... I felt like starting and ending with almost similar stanzas. Almost similar...
I am happy you took the pains of going through it all and leaving such a detailed comment. As I said, I was waiting for someone to point that out. And no, I am not surprised that it was you. :)
Peace.
##Akshat
Guess am back now. Watch out for an update sometime soon..!
##Priya Joyce
You could've on the post too... Anyway, good luck with the all important exams! Ace 'em.
##Gauri Mathur
Thanks buddy...
##Aayushi
Yes; do expect an update sometime soon. I must thank you for your patience.
##Nivedita
I quite understand what you are trying to say. My point is simple - why does one have to hide from reality? Life *is* a reality. Period.
##AV
Excellence is my shibboleth; the sky, my limit. Thanks buddy. :)
Hi………
Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
Great! Keep writing…….
Good week……… You are Welcomed to my blog…….
hello ji!!
you've been awarded :)
very strong words used.
But the truth unconcealed. :) good one. :)
##Femin Susan
Thank you. And welcome to Contorted Reality. Hope to see you often...
Peace.
##Divya
Oooo! Am off! :) *vanishes*
##Archana
Thanks. Good to see you again. Hope all is well...
I have come here from Ms. Sameera's poetry blogs. I read some of your posts and would like to revisit your blog for reading more from you.
If you like short stories and paintings, then a short visit to my blogs would be a refreshing one.
Naval Langa
http://cleanfiction.blogspot.com/
Tat's reely well written and expressed frnd...
The whole plot was gud..but the essence rests in the last lines...
and ur note..I completely agree to it..yesh life is short very short...so we need to live it to the fullest
Excellent Kartz. I am against sucicide,per se,but your poem was rivetting.
##Naval Langa
Noted. Thank you for stopping by; welcome to Contorted Reality. Your readership is much appreciated.
Peace.
##Priya Joyce
Thanks for the read...
##Jayu Auntie
Thank you! :) I sure do value your feedback...
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