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Thursday 29 May 2008

Magma Forge- Ramifications of Rage

Ever wondered what could possibly blow a beautiful relationship to Kingdome Come?

Linkin Park was his new interest. "Breaking the Habit" was the current track.

I don't know what's worth fighting for,
Or why I have to scream?
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean!
I don't know how I got this way;
I'll never be alright!
So, I'm breaking the habit!
I'm breaking the habit!
I’m breaking the habit!

He was standing all alone in the dimly lit room. Rain clouds were gathering; for once, BBCs weather forecast seemed to be spot-on! He caught his reflection on the glass window... Those eyes! He stared long and hard... Those were the same eyes she had admired. They could express and convey his emotions with ease. They could reveal what his face would otherwise easily hide. Whenever he would look into her beady eyes, his would nuzzle and rest in those sockets. It would seem to her as if those eyes radiated all the care and warmth in the world. But the same optic spheres held a curse...

It was beginning to drizzle. The raindrops hit against the window pane and there was a distant rumbling... Thunder... The rumbling grew louder. His memory cells twitched. 'Fulminate' was one word he would often associate with himself; others being 'Poetic' and 'Mysterious'. That was the curse. For, the same deep eyes which could radiate endless care and warmth could also flush with temper; a temper so vehement that it would transform him into a Rage elemental. Paroxysmal!

The rain pattered against the window and lightning flashed... His calm self was unperturbed by the sudden ruminations. He felt no emotion and the thoughts continued to flow. George Michael's "Careless Whisper" was in his ears.

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend.
To the heart and mind,
Ignorance is kind.
There's no comfort in the truth;
Pain is all you'll find!

I'm never gonna dance again!
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.

Should've known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste this chance that I've been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you!

He never had many people around him. And he had no problems. In fact, he preferred the handful he could count-on any day. It was not that he was not approachable. He was very much affable and amiable. 'Tis just that he wanted his space. He often kept to himself; but never shirked away from people. His eloquence and clarity of thought charmed ladies and gents alike. He had a pretty ordinary sense of humour... He could get boring and he knew it. He wouldn't mind. No one was a complete package. He was proud of the person that he was- independent. There was an air of ego about him; the way he would scoff at mediocrity could testify that! But, his belief in 'Acceptance' would bury any differences. The only possible reason as to why he preferred a handful of souls around him.

She had been the opposite which completed him. Her ebullient self would often force him out of his shell. His infectious enthusiasm brushed on her too. She was impressed by his forethought, his demeanour and most importantly, his impeccable straightforwardness. In a verbatim, she had once said, "You are straight as an arrow." He was one who could call a spade a spade without batting an eyelid. Never once did she think that those eyes she admired so much held a curse.

"Hotel California" was nearing its end.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice.
And she said "We are all just prisoners here; of our own device."
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast!

He was too straight in his dealings. For all his beliefs in 'Acceptance', he could not 'accept' anything that he felt was unfair. Especially hypocrisy. Which was why, one fateful evening his fury blazed forth- when she blurted out he was being a "trouble" to her. The composed bearing she had known for two odd years was hitherto lacerated and in its place was the Rage elemental. There had been an earlier instance when she had doubted his integrity, but that had been resolved by the sensible soul she had known. That had endeared him to her; a lot. But now, those eyes flushed with uncontrollable fury; his countenance, contorted in a scowl she had not known; and his profile was that of a Netherbeast. Once, she had laughed it off when he candidly admitted his flaring temper. She had now seen it all.

The rain did not seem to relent. The smell of soaked Earth pleased him immensely. He felt as if he was one with Nature. Mercurial... He had never hidden anything about himself; except for his deepest feelings, of course. There seemed to be a faint streak of sado-masochism in his personality. He was not one to give way to emotion; he had his own way of dealing with things. A touch of sadism because the Rage would [initially] not bother about the pain inflicted on her; and masochism because he dwelt in the pain she had caused him... Linkin Park was in his ears again. "Numb"...

I'm tired of being what you want me to be.
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface.
Don't know what you're expecting of me,
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes!
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you!
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there!
Become so tired so much more aware;
I'm becoming this.
All I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you!

All her apologies fell on deaf ears and were met with brusque, scathing sarcasm. Yes, she was at fault and she did accept it, however late. For once, it was against the laws of Nature and Relationship. It was the girl and not the guy who had blown up a what was a beautiful relationship. But then, by that time, he wanted his space again. No longer did he wish to be a "trouble", however [un]intentional, to anyone. His ego, pride and vanity conveniently shielded him from any possible repercussions. He ensured that she would cease to depend on him for emotional support. And with that, he had chucked the last option of any possible 'reunion' right out of the window.

He had no regrets. He had but one feeling... He had allowed his darker side to dominate when he could have been his usual, sensible self. But then again, he loathed hypocrisy. For all the 'big' words she had used on him, she had... He had always been himself. He had a nice and a nasty side to him; which he had not hidden from her. He lost someone whom he had sincerely adored. He knew it.

He continued looking out of the window. The weather was a welcome change. Zeus' lightning-bolts still filled the evening sky. Each one vying for brilliance. Hephaestus must have had a hard time forging them. Michael Jackson's "Who is it?" got our man thinking again.

I am the damned,
I am the dead,
I am the agony
Inside the dying head!

This is injustice!
Woe unto Thee!
I'll pray this punishment
Would have mercy on me!

He was philosophical with his pondering. "No one is perfect.", he was to later reflect. "It is 'Acceptance' that binds people. In our case, we accepted almost everything about each other. We were to later discern that I could not accept her bouts of hypocrisy and she could not accept my fit of... For all the 'Fire and Ice' tags we associated with our friendship, one thing was pretty much conspicuous- it had been too hot for her and I had been too cold about relenting. That is life. The test comes first, and then the lesson. It is up to us to learn the moral of each lesson." He had moved on. She did not want him in her life. Yet, she wanted him to stay on as her good friend. A grim smile crossed his lips. She had always been so- a bouquet of contradiction!

Perhaps, it was the best thing that could happen for both of them. They had grown to known each other very well, albeit for a season. They complemented one another and there was a lot they had learnt from being together. And finally, when it was time, they parted in the same manner that they had met. As two separate individuals in the walk called "Life".

The rain had by now reduced to a drizzle. Was it the calm after a storm...? Linkin Park was playing again... "What I've Done".

Put to rest,
What you thought of me.
While I clean this slate,
With the hands of uncertainty.
So let mercy come,
And wash away
What I’ve done!

I'll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become!
Erase myself,
And let go of
What I’ve Done!

For, what I’ve done
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends!
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

Music was his solace.


Anonymous said...


:smile: I have nothing to hide; for you to have missed.

By Karthik.S, # 2. June 2008, 08:37:56

Anonymous said...

Matangi writes:

u cant evade the quetion this time!
am i missin something? ;)


tht was beautiful.. liked the narration..

By anonymous user, # 1. June 2008, 07:10:47

Anonymous said...

Siddharth writes:

he he .. u know in the para where u describe him after the lines from careless whisper.. it almost felt like i was reading about me ....

By anonymous user, # 27. June 2008, 11:56:11

Anonymous said...

Jake writes:

Good use of language to express feeling... Keep writing..

By anonymous user, # 16. June 2008, 11:32:24

Anonymous said...

Anonymous writes:

Strong sentences... Capturing the very essence of losing friends or a loved one. Well written!

By anonymous user, # 16. June 2008, 09:57:05

Anonymous said...

Sri writes:

Wonderfully woven... Is it autobiographical?

By anonymous user, # 25. August 2008, 22:04:39

Anonymous said...

@ Siddharth (Anonymous)

Hmmm... Guess I am good at character sketching? ;)

By Karthik.S, # 27. June 2008, 12:26:04

Anonymous said...

Ravi writes:

That was wonderful... It was so moving! And nice choice of lyrics too...

By anonymous user, # 31. August 2008, 19:20:21

Anonymous said...

V writes:

I missed this... I can relate to what you are trying to say. All I can say is; This is beautiful! The flow... The lucid style... Sublime writing.

Keep going at it..!

By anonymous user, # 25. August 2008, 22:07:07

Anonymous said...

The story is interesting with a conundrum of conflicting emotions. Your writing was very good. To some extent though, I was distracted with the songs in between. Also, you could have explained more about the girl. I like the way the story is written from the point of view of the main character.

Anonymous said...

The lyrics really go with the story. It seems as if the lyrics were MADE of the story. Good job!

This is a very well written story. I found very few grammar mistakes and the plot was solid! Kudos for you.

Some itches I had are:

You seemed to be more focused on the lyrics than the events. I sort of want to hear more about why was their relationship forbidden or why it didn't work out. I want more on who were they together.

Also, I want to to see what she looks like (you did portray how she acts really well), and how he looks like.

Other than that, I really love this story. The music and the emotions fit togehter perfectly. :] I think that if there was another story before this, I would totally read it!



Anonymous said...

W o w...
Awesome description. Amazing writing. Excellent choice of lyrics... Am running out of adjectives! THe style of writing was truly well done...

"He was philosophical with his pondering. "No one is perfect.", he was to later reflect. "It is 'Acceptance' that binds people."- How true...

Anonymous said...

Amazing! Absolutely beautiful. The thing I liked most about this piece was how clear and lucid the thoughts were, and how steady the flow. I could feel the movement of his mind as he considered each idea. I loved the song too (Linkin Park are brilliant) and you found great places to fit it with the story, so it emphasised your ideas. Really good job! You should definitely post this on SW too. I thought it was amazing! Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

I liked it. Only one question. Is the girl alive or dead? I wasn't completely sure what it was he's reflecting on. I get the relationship part of it, but I'm not sure about the rest. Awesome story and use of lyrics though.

Anonymous said...

While reading this, I found myself feeling things I have felt before by my own nature. It is very rare someones words can move me, or even make me come to terms with somthing about my own past.

In fact, it's eerie for me. So, I would like to say that you write extremely well, amazing really...I rather enjoyed this alot. Keep it up, I will defintely be reading your other work.

Anonymous said...

They came together, the sparks of romance flew, then they had a conflict, and went their separate ways? Music seemed to play an important part throughout. This is pretty well written.

In the manner in which this story is told, I felt that it lacked some of the emotion I'd have expected. I'm not quite sure why.


Anonymous said...

Strong sentences... Beautiful lyrics... Excellent words...

Kartz said...

@ My friends at StoryWrite who wanted to know abt the girl, etc...

Well... It's like this. He wants to forget her and move on. So, he doesn't think much about her... Just what had happened. And how the happenings were in direct conflict with *his* persona. Which resulted in his later behaviour.

You are correct with what you have observed. I am happy someone found ways to improve this. Actually, it is part autobiographical (which my friends were not aware of till I decided to throw light)

I did not try to focus on the lyrics, though. It's just that they fit in where I placed them. Why it did not work out- the major difference; Hypocrisy versus Fury...

Yeah, I did not describe her appearance. May be I should have. Honestly, I did not feel like doing so even when I thought about it after finishing this. I still don't know why.

Thanks for your feedback, anyway. Much appreciated!

WarmSunshine said...

I loved it! I really did! I hate good byes, especially when lovers do that. So what you wrote, I can say I felt it deep down. Yes, it all made sense. Congrats!!

Wonderful use of words, and the way you depicted the guy's character, he comes out pretty strongly. I loved the flow and the lyrics in between add more to the style.
Keep writing! You have a good talent that you're using very graciously!

Good luck :-)

Kartz said...

Thank you for those kind words.

AV said...

wow! was beautiful! i knew men were probably emotionally weaker than women, but this much? really? i kinda saw the other side in ur post. was really moving! i actually got reminded of Charles in The Ghost (Danielle Steel's)..

nice one~


Kartz said...

Hmmm... I dunno abt the emotionally weaker part, friend (no, am not being chauvinistic ;) ) It's just tht I tried to shed light on broken relationships...

Of course, not everyone is the same when it comes to perception and accepting reality...

Anonymous said...

well written buddy :). U knw i cn understand it quite well.. :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome piece of writing. Amazing weave of words and brilliant choice of lyrics to go hand in hand. I remember a chapter of my novel I wrote in similar style. I am truly amazed at your abily to character sketch. It is so heart touching and extremely true to life!
I envy you!

keep writing. you sweep me off!!

Kartz said...

Thanks Di... :)

Well, it is true... To a good extent.

You wdnt envy ur lil bro'... :)

Unknown said...

wow ..

that was a lovely narration.. n yes it definitly goesss sooo well with what i wrote..

sometimes i do end up feeling that there are times we just end up doing things with out thinking.. because the urge is so big.. that we have to do it.. n not think how it will look or make the other person feel ..

yup this is the perfect example.. err narration of what i meant.. :) thanks for sharing it.. i'm going to add this in my post.. :)

Anonymous said...

it was a sheer delight reading this one.
Could realte to some parts of it too.. The addition of songs in between made the write more soulful.
I dont blame the girl and don't blame the guy.
Both of them lack what is called trying to empathise, which is very important in a relationship which goes beyond months. We hardly realise the importance of it. The people are walking in and out of relationships,the term 'relationship' is losing importance in my eyes. The way some unsure souls have their doubts about the institution of marriage.
It requires a lot more than saying those 'three words' to make it work :)

Disclaimer: The comment is my personal opinion and the author of this blog doesnt hold any responsibility whatsoever for the debates this comment might lead to. :)

Kartz said...

Thanks! Glad you liked it... :)

Kartz said...

@the pink orchid
Thanks for the read, madamoiselle. Well, I prefer to talk to you abt this...




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